One Word Title
by Alaiac
Summary: Just a quick exercise to see if certain changes could be made to play out a certain way.
1. Prologue

One Word Title  
  
...Primary motor functions online.Initiating environmental sensors.Environmental sensors online.Accessing.Analyzing olfactory data feed.Unknown chemicals detected.Analyzing.Insufficient Data.Accessing Visual Data Feed.  
  
Ranma opened his eyes slowly, to find the source of the tantalizing scent that had greeted him upon awakening. His first thoughts were that someone had repainted the ceiling. His second thought was as to why he was so warm. He raised his head slightly to better survey his surroundings, and immediately wished he had not done so.  
  
'Oh, Kami. I am *so* dead,' he thought to himself as he lowered his head. 'Oh well, we all have to die sometime. What was that line from that American show Short-stuff watches? Oh.yeah. Today is a good day to die.' With that, Ranma laid his head back upon the pillow and struggled to remember how he had wound up in this position. Ranma furrowed his brow in thought not noticing his hand moving seemingly of its own accord, gently tousling the short blond hair of the woman atop him. He breathed in deeply, savoring the scent of her hair. His hand continued its idle caressing as he looked around the room. He was on a large bed, A king-size if he was any judge. The walls were a pale yellow, unadorned by any decoration. There was a dresser against the wall to his left, and a nightstand on each side of the bed. Two doorways led out of the room, set into adjacent walls. He finished surveying his surroundings and turned his attention back to the weight pressing against his chest. He was quite startled to see two hard teal eyes glittering back at him. Even as he watched the hardness left the eyes, and their expression softened.  
  
"Mmmm. Morning, love."  
  
"Umm.Good morning?" Ranma responded, a bit unsure. "Ruka, why are you on my chest?" Haruka simply arched an eyebrow at this.  
  
"Because it's comfortable, now shut up and let me be. Better yet, go make me something to eat, I'm starved." She rolled off him, taking the covers with her. For a moment, Ranma was at a loss for what to say in response.  
  
"C-c-com-comfortable?" He stuttered out.  
  
"Mmmm-hmmm." The voice replied from beneath the pile of covers. "Comfortable." The voice was silent for a few moments. "Oh! Don't let me forget, we have to pick up Hotaru and Chibi-Usa later today. Also, your mother is coming over tonight for dinner. She mentioned something about it being unmanly to not let her spoil her grandchild."  
  
Ranma was up and out of bed like a bolt as his memory finally caught up to him. "Ack! Mom's comin' over? Aw man, your not gonna make me cook again are you? Haruka? Honey? Are you?" He pleaded. Silence greeted his questions. "Haruka? This ain't funny. Haruka?" A false-sounding snore came back at him. "Fine. I guess I'll just hafta make enough breakfast for me. Seein' as how you ain't awake or nothin."  
  
He turned to leave the room, when a pair of boxers hit him in the back of the head. "Baka! At least wear something to go out there in! What if Setsuna sees you?" Haruka's voice was full of mirth.  
  
"Then I guess I'll simply hafta deal with it. After all, I can handle the guilt of ruining her for any man in the future." Came the flippant reply.  
  
"Saotome Ranma. Don't you dare leave this room naked. I swear if I weren't married to you I'd." Ranma cut her off  
  
"You'd hafta to make your own breakfast, that's what." Haruka came out from under the covers and glared at a fully dressed, smirking Ranma.  
  
"Baka. Go. Make my breakfast." Haruka mock-frowned as she ordered Ranma.  
  
"I'm goin', I'm goin'." Ranma turned and left the room.  
  
Ranma walked out through the door and stepped into a hallway. He could not quite understand the lapse in his memory earlier, so he credited it to having just awoken. He turned and walked downstairs, through the living room, the dining room, and into the kitchen. Once there he began to get the ingredients out for a simple, quick breakfast. He took a moment as he cooked to reflect upon how he had come to be where he was now.  
  
*****  
  
It had been bad. It was bad even by Nerima standards. It had started out simply enough. Ranma had looked, but he had not looked at just anyone. He had looked at Her. He was not worthy enough to even think about Her, and here he had the audacity and gall to actually look at Her. Akane could barely contain her rage at her fiancée, but was about to let it pass when he spoke. To Her.  
  
"Akane?" Ranma cringed as she glared at him from the sidewalk, but dauntless, he tried again. "A-Akane, do you wanna go and get s-something t- t-to." He trailed off.  
  
"Out. With. It." Akane growled at him. The intensity of her glare increasing.  
  
Ranma gulped audibly. "Eat?" He continued, flushing red with embarrassment.  
  
Akane jerked as though shot. She stopped and whirled on him. "Raannmmaa! If you think for even a second that I want anything to do with a perverted baka like you then you must be even stupider then I thought. First you make us late to class because of Kuno." Ranma tried to speak. "Not. A. Word. I don't even want to hear you breathe." Akane then continued, "Then those hussies of yours tried to attack me! ME! And what did you do? Not a thing. That's what you did. You let them crawl all over you, insult me and my cooking, and then, when I tried to keep going Shampoo "accidentally" stuck her foot out and tripped me. In front of everybody. And you." She was snarling at this point. "You laughed. Then, as if that wasn't enough, you got us both detention. YOU GOT ME IN DETENTION, RANMA! AND NOW YOU WANT TO EAT?" Akane was screaming now.  
  
Ranma, ever stoic and unshakeable in the face of danger, promptly did the only thing he could think of. "Well," He started, ignoring Akane's glare, "if ya don't wanna eat then ya just hadta say so. I mean, since Kasumi's not home an all I figured." He trailed off as he noticed the concrete starting to melt around Akane's feet. 'Wow, impressive battle aura.' He thought, just before he realized that it was a battle aura. "Oh, man! Gotta calm her down, but how? I know! Distract her and run away." Ranma had not noticed he had been speaking that last part aloud. It can also be noted that when it came to Akane, Ranma was not the greatest of tacticians.  
  
Akane's glare turned to a look of sheer unbridled hatred. "Saotome Ranma. Get out of my sight. I never want to see you again." Her voice was strangely calm. "I hate you, Ranma. Do you hear me? I hate you, and I always have. I never want to see you again, speak to you, or even have to think about your perverted ass, you freak." Ranma stood speechless. He had no idea what could have set Akane off like this. "I am giving you until the time I get home to be gone. I don't care what my father says or tries to do. If I get home and you are there, you will regret or for the rest of your short life." Akane's aura started to turn a dark red, almost black. "Get out of my sight." With that, she set brought out Mallet-sama and with a well-practiced swing sent Ranma skyward.  
  
Amazingly enough, Akane had hit Ranma on a trajectory that would bring him directly into the Tendo compound, the koi pond to be precise. There was a splash followed by the angry muttering of Ranma-chan about uncute tomboys, mallets, and girls in general. Ranma trudged upstairs, thinking about what Akane had screamed at him just before hitting him. The more he thought, the angrier he got. The angrier he got, the more he resented being told what to do. Setting his face into a grim mask of determination, he went into his room, got out his pack, and grabbed what few clothes he had. He stopped in front of the photographs on his wall. The all had Akane, or him and Akane. He looked for a few more seconds before nodding his head to himself. He turned, and leapt out the window. The only sign of his having ever been there the photographs on the wall.  
  
More to come folks. 


	2. Chapter One

One Word Title Chapter One  
  
Akane stormed into the Tendo home. She walked past Nabiki who was reclining on the couch with a manga. Akane announced her presence with a question, "Where is he?"  
  
"Where is who, Akane?" Nabiki asked.  
  
"That perverted baka. Where is Ranma?" She had calmed down considerably, her tone holding only the normal irritation due to her fiancée.  
  
"I don't know, Akane. I haven't seen him since school let out."  
  
"Do you think he'll be home in time for dinner?" Akane's mood visibly brightened, then darkened just as quickly as she thought about the meal she was making for Ranma tonight.  
  
'Knowing Saotome, he's probably with one of his other fiancées, stuffing his face.' Nabiki sat up and turned to face Akane. "You only need to fix dinner for Ranma and yourself tonight, the fathers are gone, and I've got a meeting to go to." Nabiki winced inwardly. She knew that if Akane tried cooking for Ranma then there would be more medical bills this month. 'Ever since the wedding Akane has become more determined to cook, and with Dr Tofu back in the area and dating Kasumi, she has had more opportunities than ever to try to pois- err...try to cook for us.' Nabiki corrected herself in mid-thought. "I'm sure he'll be here."  
  
"He'd better if he knows what's good for him." With that, Akane went upstairs to drop off her belongings in her room. She returned to the kitchen, and with a great deal of crashing and banging sounds, started dinner.  
  
Nabiki sat and listened for a moment, then "Eeped!" when she heard the sounds of a jackhammer. She quickly gathered her purse, put on a light sweater, and departed to let Kuno know that he was taking her out to dinner.  
  
*****  
  
Somwhere Else.  
  
Ranma walked with his head hung low. He had tried, really he had. However, it seemed every time he gave any effort toward the engagement Akane only got madder then she already was at him. He had honestly wanted to go and get something to eat with her. Ranma couldn't quite understand why she had been so furious at him about school today though. Akane had blown everything that happened today out of proportion.  
  
The day had stated out as usual for this week. Since Pop and Mr. Tendo were both gone, hiding from Happosai he was sleeping in a little bit longer, then getting up when Akane or Kasumi came to get him. He hadn't even argued with Akane until they had arrived at the school, having been splashed by the ladle lady and not really caring. He had determined that today he was going to ask Akane out of his own accord. Nothing would spoil his mood. Not even Kuno. He hadn't even pounded Kuno when he walked onto the grounds of the school, he had left that to Akane, she deserved something to get rid of her stress, he thought. Akane had been a bit slow in pounding the pervert thought, and they had been late as a result. They had both had to stand in the hallway. Neither one spoke. Akane had been too embarrassed and Ranma to wrapped up in his own thoughts to make any kind of conversation.  
  
When it came time for lunch Ukyo and Shampoo had approached Ranma, offering lunches, dates, and in the case of Shampoo, a "too too good time if Airen go on date with Shampoo tonight." Ranma had declined the date, but had accepted the food gladly. Shampoo had done her usual glomp, and Akane had seen it. Akane's eyes seemed to blaze as she stood up and started to walk over towards Ranma. Shampoo had seen this as well as Ukyo, and both were making offers for Ranma to come eat dinner at their restaurants tonight so he wouldn't have to be subjected to Akane's cooking. After her last attempt Nabiki had had to do some very fast talking to keep Akane from being reported by the hazmat teams for the development of potentially deadly toxic agents. As Akane got closer, Ranma had asked Shampoo to please let go of him so he could breathe again.  
  
She had then knelt down to pick up the rest of her deliveries, at which point Akane had started with her usual "Raannmmaa." and tripped over Shampoo's back leg. Ranma had made some stupid remark about a klutzy tomboy and Shampoo and Ukyo had chuckled. Akane, red-faced, simply stood up, narrowed her eyes, and stalked off calling back to them, "Fine, Ranma. Spend time with your hussies instead of." she trailed off as she realized what she was saying.  
  
Lunch finally ended, and the students filed back inside for the remainder of the day's lessons. Classes were dull for Ranma, but at least he was awake. He was somewhat surprised when a small folded up piece of paper landed on his desk. He ignored it, thinking it to be from one of the usual perverts in the class.  
  
"Baka!" Akane whispered, upset that he ignored her note. "Ranma! Read my note!"  
  
"Miss Tendo!" Came the sensei's voice. "Since it is so important for you to speak with Mr. Saotome there, perhaps you would do better to save it for after class, in detention. Both of you."  
  
"Hai, Sensei." Came Akane's voice, doing nothing to hide her shame and embarrassment.  
  
"Hey! I ain't done nothin' wrong! Why do I gotta do detention with the tomboy?" Was Ranma's indignant reply.  
  
"Saotome, Hall. Buckets. Now."  
  
"Aw jeez. See what you've done Akane?" Akane chose to not reply, she did not wish to do bucket duty twice in the same day. However, her classmates had backed their desks away from hers as they caught glimpses of a faint red flickering around her.  
  
Then there had been detention. Ranma felt he had been fully justified in being upset that Akane had gotten him in trouble, and from there, the arguments started yet again, until finally, Ranma had simply told Akane to drop it, he didn't want to really deal with it today. In retrospect, Ranma mused that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all to ask Akane out to eat on the way home today. Not that it mattered anymore. As far as he was concerned, it was over for good between him and Akane. At first he had not wanted to believe that Akane hated him, but he had heard it one too many times, been hit a few too many times, been hurt too many times by her for him to try to convince himself she really didn't hate him. He was tired of it all and just wanted some peace. Hence, he had taken Akane's last words to him at face value and gathered up everything of importance to him anymore, and left the Tendo's behind. This time for good.  
  
*****  
  
Akane was smiling widely. Her masterpiece was finished. Sure, the kitchen would need to be aired out for a while, but she was sure that the smell wasn't permanent. Her smile dropped a bit, she wasn't too sure about the stains though. She shook her head. It didn't matter, Dinner was done, and she couldn't wait until Ranma tried it. She had worked so hard and put so many different ingredients into it that it had to be good. After all, She made it. Regardless of what anyone else thought, everything She did was perfect by virtue of Her having been the one to do it. Now she just had to go and get Ranma. She hadn't heard him come home, but then again as much as he snuck around to be with his other fiancées, he could very well be here. In fact, She was sure of it. Ranma was probably hiding somewhere just waiting to jump out and scare her. Well, She'd show him. She would find and sneak up on him for once. After all, She was a martial artist too, and weren't all martial artists supposed to be stealthy by nature?  
  
Slowly, Akane made her way out of the kitchen, taking exaggerated footsteps, raising her knees high, walking on the tips of her toes. She crept into the living room. There was no one there. 'Of course!' she thought. He is hiding from me upstairs. Her smile dropped off her face altogether as she thought of why he could be upstairs. 'I'll bet that pervert is hiding in the furo, waiting to sneak a peek at me. We'll show him the error of his perverted ways, won't we, Mallet-sama?' She thought to herself. She walked up the stairs, no longer caring to use stealth. She had Mallet-sama in her hands, ready to bash all perverts in a heartbeats notice. She flung the door to the change room open, expecting Ranma. 'Aha! That pervert really is in the furo waiting for me.' With that, she stormed through the changing room and flung the other door open. "Ranma! Stop hiding! I know you're in here!" Nothing. Silence and an empty bathroom greeted her. 'Didn't Ranma know he was supposed to be here so she could bash him? He was a pervert after all, and that's what perverts were for. They were put on Earth for Tendo Akane to bash them. It was her mission in life. She couldn't help but be daunted sometimes at the enormity of the task ahead of her. That's why she was somewhat grateful that Ranma had showed up. After all, since he was a pervert and he even changed into a girl then he had to be one of the worst kinds of pervert. Really high up in the ranks of.' Akane frowned, trying to find the word for it. 'Pervert-dom. That will just have to do for now, she guessed.' Akane shrugged and resumed her search for the per.Ranma.  
  
She tried her room next, using the same tactic she did in the bathroom. Jump in and mallet 'em while they're surprised. Once again, she was met with an empty room. She briefly considered her sisters' rooms and her father's, but realized that even Ranma wouldn't stoop so low as to go into Kasumi's room, and he seemed to be afraid of Nabiki's room for some reason. That left his room and her father's. Crossing her father's room off the list simply because she knew Ranma would know that she never goes into it left her with the guest room. Once more opting for stealth Akane crept down the hallway, Mallet-sama held high over her head. She reached out with one hand and threw the door open, leaping in with a battle cry. She stopped short as once again all she found was an empty room. By now, Akane was getting really upset. Her perverted fiancée had not even seen fit to come home yet from Ukyo or Shampoo's to eat her dinner. She growled as she put Mallet-sama away, and went downstairs to put the dinner she had made into the refrigerator. She wasn't hungry anymore. Akane went into the living room and sat down on the couch, glaring at the entryway, just waiting for Ranma to come in. 'Boy was she ever going to let him have it this time. He was going to pay for making her mad and then not even eating her dinner.' She promised herself.  
  
Akane sat and stared at the door. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours, and she was starting to doze off when she heard the sound of the front door opening. Voices wafted in through the entryway.  
  
"I had a great time tonight, Ono. Do you want to come in for some tea?"  
  
"I'd love to, Kasumi."  
  
Akane was now sitting up in full alert mode. 'Kasumi was home? She had said she wouldn't be in until late tonight! Did that mean Ranma had snuck in while she was resting her eyes?' She knew she couldn't have been asleep. She was on a pervert watch. Nothing could get by Her. Although this particular pervert had proven to be quite sneaky in the past, she knew that he would not be able to sneak past Her.  
  
Kasumi walked in, followed by Dr Tofu. "Oh, my! Akane, shouldn't you be asleep?"  
  
Tofu followed Kasumi through the door. "Hello, Akane."  
  
"Can't sleep." Akane yawned, "On watch. There's perverts out there."  
  
Kasumi and Tofu looked at each other, speaking with their eyes. Kasumi turned to Akane, "Akane, I think you should get some rest, you have school in the morning. Besides if you are that worried about perverts ask Ranma to watch for them."  
  
There was another voice from the top of the stairs. "She can't. He's not here." Nabiki was looking at Kasumi with an almost predatory gleam in her eyes.  
  
Akane's eyes were closed and she was stretching out on the couch. "'S'right. He's the reason for the pervert watch. Tried to scare me, and ran away before I could mallet him." The majority of that had been in the form of a yawn.  
  
"Akane, go to bed. Ranma will be here soon, I'm sure."  
  
"Told you, can't sleep. Pervert watch. Don' worry though, Kasumi, Nabiki, I'll protect you." As she finished she curled up on the couch and closed her eyes. No one said anything. The silence was broken a few minutes later by Akane's soft snore.  
  
Tofu turned to Kasumi. "I'd love to stay for tea, but I think Akane needs her rest more. Tomorrow night, maybe?"  
  
Kasumi laughed lightly. "Of course, Ono. Don't worry about Akane, I will take care of her. Here, let me see you to the door." She returned a few minutes later, a dreamy smile plastered on her face.  
  
"Ono?" The voice from the top of the stairs asked as Kasumi went into the kitchen. '3-2-1,' Nabiki thought to herself. Kasumi came rushing back out of the kitchen. Tears visible in her eyes.  
  
"My kitchen." Kasumi had a blank look on her face..  
  
Nabiki winced. "I know. I went in there when I walked in past Sleeping Beauty here earlier."  
  
"My beautiful kitchen." Kasumi's left eyebrow twitched as she leveled her gaze at Akane's sleeping form..  
  
"There, there Kasumi, Daddy will be home tomorrow and he can get it fixed for you." Nabiki came down the steps and started guiding Kasumi to her room. "So tell me about you and, Ono is it now?" The sound of her voice faded as they went into her room. Akane lay sleeping on the couch, dreaming of little P-chans with mallets helping her bash Ranma, a small peaceful smile on her face. 


End file.
